God is always working to make His children aware of a dream
that remains alive beneath the rubble of every shattered dream,

a new dream that
when realized will release a new song, sung with tears,

till God wipes them away
and we sing with nothing but joy in our hearts

--Larry Crabb

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I never...

A few weeks ago at the MOPS group that I attend we discussed our pre-child philosophies on being a mom in a simple format and then compared them to our realities now that we are parents. The format was simple, just fill in the blank.  "Before I was a mom, I never thought I would____________."  I've been thinking about how much being a mom has changed me.  The things that were once ultra-important (a clean car, a tidy house, showering daily for example) are still important but take a back seat to anything that my girl might need.  For the record, I still shower almost daily, but am usually accompanied by a 18 month old that has an infatuation with shampoo bottles and bubbles. 

Before I was a mom, I never thought I would....eat food out of someone else's mouth.  It is disgusting, but I have to admit that it has happened.  What else is a mom to do when you are at a friend's house, your daughter takes a bite of something and spits it out into your hand.  Top it off with being in general too tired/lazy to get up, feeling slightly hungry, and eating the rejected food object becomes a viable option.  It happens and I KNOW I am not the only one who does it. 

Before I was a mom, I never thought I would...sleep in a bed affected by a diaper insufficiency.  When L was really little I would change her in our bed at night.  I don't know whether it was the cool air hitting her or what, but when that diaper was off the girl would pee every time. I guess I'm a slow learner because I kept changing her in our bed. My coping mechanisms when sleep deprived are very compromised and so I would turn an absorbent pad upside down over the puddle, put her back to bed, go back to sleep, and deal with the linens in the am.  My pre-mom self would be very disappointed. 

Before I was a mom, I never thought I would...wear sweat pant equivalents every day unless there was a compelling reason to not do so (ie..going somewhere.) I realized when pregnant just how comfortable sweats are and that never really changed after L was born.  Old Navy comfort pants...where had you been my whole life?

Before I was a mom I never thought I would...be ready for a good nights sleep at 8 PM.  Some days I am just so exhausted from chasing Lauren around, picking up countless toys, fixing meals, playing, and all the other things that moms do to keep a house running.  I love to sleep and don't get to sleep in much anymore, so going to bed early is my escape.

Before I was a mom I never thought I would...let a kiddo sleep in my bed.  It is not intentional and it doesn't happen too often, but sometimes L does sleep with us for some portion of the night.  Often she wakes up in her bed around the same time as Craig (around 4:30), will cuddle up with me, and sleep for a few more hours.  I know it is not a good habit, but to be honest I love those early morning hours of watching my girl sleep and praying over her.  I know that the day will come when she won't want to curl up next to me and it makes me want to cherish each moment now.

Before I was a mom  I never thought that I would...let my kid wear clothes in public that had leftovers from lunch spilled everywhere on them.  You know what?  She is 18 months, and she can be a messy eater and I don't want to do 5 loads of laundry a day so sometimes she does wear a little squash on her shirt to the store and I'm ok with that.  Matter of fact, sometimes we wear matching food spots on our clothes.  Don't judge us. =)

Before I was a mom, I never thought I would...go to bed without picking up all the toys.  A MOPS friend recently told me that trying to keep a tidy house with a toddler is like trying to brush your teeth while eating oreos.  I concur. 

Before I was a mom, I never thought I would...be so deeply concerned about every aspect of someone else's life.  Not that it is in a controlling "I want her to be perfect" way, but in a way that says I love her so much that I want to protect her and guide her to make good choices and be healthy physically, emotionally, and socially. 

Before I was a mom, I never thought that I would...be this happy as a mom. 

I also never thought I'd admit in a public place that I have slept on baby pee.  But I did.  Because I'm a mom.