God is always working to make His children aware of a dream
that remains alive beneath the rubble of every shattered dream,

a new dream that
when realized will release a new song, sung with tears,

till God wipes them away
and we sing with nothing but joy in our hearts

--Larry Crabb

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

One Hot Mess

Oh what a complicated mess surrounds us.  We are living day to day, minute to minute in wait.  In the last few days we have had travel orders to return home, had them revoked, Craig has received notice of exemption from the furlough and then had it rescinded.  It is a hot mess, I tell you.  I don't even know where to begin.

For now we are being told to stay put in DC while the lawyers for the Army scrutinize the law to see whether or not Craig should be working.  On Monday, when Craig was advised to travel home, we had to give a seven day notice to the leasing office, which means that next Monday we will have to do SOMETHING, but have no clue what.  We may have to vacate our apartment if they are not willing to extend a new short term lease.  We may have to return to Michigan.  We may have to find a new place to live here.  He may be exempted and allowed to return to work.  The powers that be may reach an agreement and this whole thing will allow us to return to our abnormally normal life.  In the meantime, we are flinching every time Craig's work phone makes a peep in hope of an update.  We are packing a few things that we can do without right now in anticipation of going somewhere.  We are praying for our elected leaders to reach a resolution.  We are keeping things normal for our kids.  We are dwindling down our supply of perishables. We are wondering when we will get paid again.  

On Tuesday, I watched as an elected official gloated about helping break down the barricades so that the veterans on Honor flights could get to the memorials in the National Mall.  While I in no way want to sound like I disagree with the veterans' stance, (personally, I am thrilled that they didn't let the barricades stand in their way) I am beyond irritated that someone who helped put those barricades in place by failing to help find a compromise to the whole situation parades around like they are doing such a great thing by breaking through them.  Furthermore, shouldn't he have been in the senate or house (I don't even know what party affiliation he held, or what branch of government--it's irrelevent) working together with the others to fix it?  I don't know why I was so bothered, but my blood still boils when I think about it.  Grrr.  I guess you could say I'm on edge.

OK.  So I'm going to Totally shift gears and talk about something that makes me happy.  My kids.  Oh how I love them.  I got to facetime with Maddie last night and we are making some plans for the upcoming holidays. I miss her so much and can't wait to see her again!  I wish we could have her all of the time.

 Lauren is a busy busy busy little thing.  She is quite dramatic at times and has been acting so grown-up lately.  "I can do that, Mommy!"  However, the can-do attitude is quite often paired with stubbornness.  If she gets an idea in her head, there is NO changing her mind!  And when Lauren is frustrated, we all tend to get frustrated.  :)  I think that my dad said one time that he had a daughter like that.  Lauren is almost completely potty trained.  She still despises any effort to try to get her to go potty anywhere but at home, though.  Today we were at the dentist and she told me she had to go, but then realized that she would have to use their potty.  I asked her to try, and I guess you could say that she showed me who was boss because I am the one that walked out of the bathroom with wet pants.  Yes, in an effort to get her to sit she somehow managed to pee on my pants in such a way that it totally looked like I wet myself.  Not really the way I wanted to meet the new dentist, but such is the life of a mom.  Sigh.

Carson.  I never knew how much a little boy could steal his mama's heart.  He is such a happy, sweet baby.  He definitely knows who his mommy is and looks for me constantly.  Today Craig was holding him in the chair and trying to talk to him while I was making dinner.  Carson completely ignored him, stared at me and flashed me a huge smile and giggle every time I looked at him.  He has two teeth already and a ferocious appetite.  I can't believe my baby boy is almost 6 months old!  He loves his bath, toys, and watching his sister.

In days like these when our country seems to be falling apart and life has thrown a curveball into our normal, I find myself drinking in each moment of innocence with my little ones.  It is refreshing to me that they don't have a care in the world beyond when Carson gets to eat next or Lauren gets to watch TV.  The fact that we temporarily have no income, that we are totally living in limbo has no effect.  They trust that we will provide, just as I trust that our heavenly Father will provide for us as parents and as a nation.  Once again I ask "where would I be without faith?" and glad I'll never find out.