God is always working to make His children aware of a dream
that remains alive beneath the rubble of every shattered dream,

a new dream that
when realized will release a new song, sung with tears,

till God wipes them away
and we sing with nothing but joy in our hearts

--Larry Crabb


Monday, September 14, 2009

I lay here awake at 6 am pouring through the events of the last few days. Not wanting to believe it, overwhelmed, and with a broken heart. Tomorrow Iwill see my dad for the first time since his accident on Saturday. Tomorrow will be the first time that I can't look my dad in the eyes or see his ready smile. I know that it is just his body, an empty shell of the man that meant so much to me. I know that this is only a temporary separation and cling to the promise that we will meet again, but reeling from the fact I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell him that I love him one last time. I never got to tell him thank you for being the greatest example of a life lived by faith that I have ever known. Yet, I know he knew. And, although it came at much too high a price, I am thankful. Thankful that death came to him instantly. Without pain or fear. Exactly as God himself had planned since the beginning of time, and thankful that he has already stood before the Almighty and granted permanant citizenship in heaven, where I will see him again. Thankful that I was given nearly 34 years with my daddy, and they were good ones. Thankful that we went on vacation with him this summer and that we met him and my mom for dinner just 2 weeks ago. Thankful that the funeral planning is done and that the only things left to do are order the casket spray and find something to wear for the service and find a way to somehow say not goodbye forever but "see you in a litte while." Thankful and tired and so so sad.

3 comments:

Lonita said...

Whenever you and your dad were together, it was obvious how much fun you had together and how much you loved each other. It's wonderful to have the comfort that you'll see each other one day again - but I know it doesn't make you miss him any less. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

Kimmi said...

Missy,
You probably never knew how much I appreciated Daryl. Since I was not even close to being the best dad in Craig's younger years, and still not that good after I became a Christian (still needed to do a lot of growing and maturing from anger, etc.), I was so happy when Craig married you. First, because I knew you were the perfect wife for him; to love him, be there for him through good and bad, and put up with some of the things he inherited from me.

But, I was also very happy that Craig could be around Daryl and learn from him; to see his Christian spirit and faith and to see him as an example of what a Godly man should be like. I saw what a great job he did raising his children, and wanted Craig to be like that, not like I was. I know that Craig looked up to your dad and will carry what he learned from him for the rest of his life.

I will also miss him and the good times we had together. I will always appreciate the great daughter he gave to my son to help him grow to be the man of God he is. I love you. It is a blessing to know, without a doubt, that Daryl is with Jesus right now.
Bob

Jeni said...

Missy,
I only met Daryl on a handful of occasions, but he was such a kind sole. If there is one thing I will remember about him is his smile. In fact I can not remember a time when he did not have a smile. We are so sorry for your loss.