Not the best

OK, so I need to vent a little. I had my annual evaluation at work this week. My boss complimented my work performance, told me that my attendance was outstanding, said what an asset I was to the hospital, gave me my raise details and then....I could not believe it....she said "I know that you have had a lot going on personally, but I do have to say that this has not been your best year." I just stared at her blankly as she smiled back a fake smile. Not my best year? Do you think? My blood started to boil just a little.
Last year was the most difficult year of my life. I forced myself to show up to work everyday and try to focus on my work. I tried SO hard to not let Kim's passing or my Dad's accident interfere with my work world. Other things were going on in life that changed me. Yet I went to work. I did my job. I placed more than 400 PICC lines. I made small talk and comforted my patients when they were apprehensive about the procedure or their health. I educated. I even joined a committee to improve a process and served as a resource for many nurses and even management. I gave whatever was left in me to give to my patients.
I've been a nurse for 13 years. I've seen a few people come into the world and many people bid the world goodnight. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can prepare you for what happens in your heart and head when people that you care so deeply about die. It changes you. Forever. Sometimes those changes may affect all aspects of your life. Our society gives us 3 days to mourn, grieve, and get over it. It took me a little longer and I won't make any excuses or pretend that it is not ok to let letting go of these extremely special people to change me a little. Yep. Last year was not my best.
Thanks for listening,
~M