Butterfly Blessings

I had a good day yesterday and the house is done. I said DONE!! Whew! The realtors came this morning and things went well.

As I was working around the house yesterday I received a phone call. On the other end of the line was Patrick, the guy from work that had trained me on placing PICC lines. While training we had a little downtime and he shared with me his excitement over the fact that after several years of trying to conceive (and eventually using IVF) he and his wife were expecting a baby girl. I didn't used to be an emotional person, but that made even tough shelled me tear up. I loved how he so openly talked about his role in how he just knew that God would give them the desire of their hearts if they would just trust.

I'll never forget the day that I was went to the nursing office and learned that Patrick and his wife's precious baby girl, Charley Rose, had died and was delivered still at nearly 27 weeks. At that time I could only feel a glimpse of the heartache and sense of loss that they must have felt. Although each situation is a little different, I can now understand a little more what they were going through in a way that I never wanted to know.

So, yesterday it was so refreshing to have a conversation with someone who has been there. He told me of some support groups that helped them heal. His wife was in the background prompting a bit, which was totally adorable. He told me about a program called Butterfly Blessings which was taking place today in Rock Island. As much as I wanted to go, I would not allow myself to get my hopes up about being able to make it. (We had scheduled 3 realtors to come to the house at different times to interview.) He also let us know about some other support groups and things that they have done that helped.

As our conversation ended and I hung up the phone I thanked him profusely. I was so glad that he called. I don't know if I would have dialed the digits if the tables were turned, but I just can't explain how much it helped to talk to someone who understands. We agreed that we are all members of a really crappy "club" of parents who have lost children. Honestly, it is a club that I knew must exist but never really paid that much attention to and would never have chosen to become a part of, but we didn't choose it. It chose us, and now we're here, but are not alone.

Fast forward to today. We did go to the Butterfly Blessings ceremony. It was lovely to hear the music and Patrick and his wife speak about their feelings at the time that Charley died and their feelings now 2 years later. We lit a candle in Christopher's memory and made picture with his initials and picture with background wording that says "Some people only dream of angels...we got to hold one in our arms." I like that saying a lot...except Christopher was much to tiny to hold in our arms...he fit perfectly in our hands, though!
It ended up feeling like a very appropriate way to spend the day that is exactly one month from the day that our son was born and died. We laughed, and cried, and remembered. Oh I miss that little boy.

P.S. Patrick and his wife now have 2 beautiful twin boys that are about 18 months. Hooray for healthy miracles!