Crabby Party

Yesterday was not a good day for me. Again, there was little rhyme or reason why feelings were so strong, but part of it had to do with the fact that I started feeling sorry for myself. I threw quite the pity party. There were streamers of unfairness and balloons filled with "why me's" and atop my head sat the party hat of all party hats that read "The Queen of all Pity--the one who has been dealt the crappiest deal of all." I sifted through journal articles that a high risk specialist had given me--adding fury to my fire as I became more and more frustrated. I was tired and bored (although there were many things I should have been doing) and just felt justified in being mad for a while.
A friend called in the afternoon just to chat and my sister called a little later and read me a children's book that she had bought at some conference. It was a whimsical story about what a person may experience in heaven after death. I cried like a baby before asking her "Why are you doing this to me?!?!?!" It felt good to cry a little. Tears have been pretty evasive lately and letting them fall was refreshing to my tired spirit. Thanks, sis. :)
Craig came home at his usual time and asked what I had done that day. The only thing that I had accomplished was going to a dentist appointment and getting my teeth cleaned--oh so much effort I had to put in for that! We sat and talked for a long time about things and where we are at with everything from moving to our losses and spent a lot of time talking about Christopher. I started to feel a little better...well enough anyway to go out and tidy up my flowerbeds while Craig power washed the deck. My mood was a little better, but we still felt it best to work on projects on the opposite side of the house. That Craig is a smart cookie, I tell you!
Later in the evening I got an e-mail from my aunt reminding me that she had not forgotten my hurt, which was comforting and I skyped with my mama after warning her that I was a crabby mess. She even got me to smile. I love her. She also made me cry (as did my neighbor, which was a little awkward, because she had no idea and probably just thought we were talking about mulch, which really isn't sad). You know, that is the thing I love about my family and friends. They know and understand that not all days will be good ones. They acknowledge that there will be some days will be better than others and accept me for who I am and where I am, often times hurting right along with me. Thanks everyone!