Back to work--changed

Today was my first day of work (at work anyway) in three weeks. In some ways I can't believe that it has been that long, but in others it has seemed a lot longer. I was a little nervous because I haven't started an IV for so long, but I got 3 PICC lines and 5 peripheral caths all on the first stick. I must be good. :)
Work is a difficult place for me to be right now after being on the "other side" of the healthcare fence with the situation with Kim. I was (and still am to some extent) so frustrated at the lack of communication between the doctors in Omaha. One would say one thing and then someone would come in behind him and say nearly the exact opposite. Having the clinical background that I do, I was able to decipher that when a neurosurgeon says "everything looks good" from their standpoint that means that there is nothing to operate on, not necessarily that there is no brain damage. However, I saw Craig's family get hurt time and again by all this, because for a family searching for signs of hope "everything looking good" is ALWAYS a good thing. This went on for several days and, honestly, it burned me out. Made me not want to return to work, and and made me wonder if I perpetuate this problem with patients that I am asked to see. I fully believe in being optimistic about the best possible outcome, but also realistic about the possibility that things may not turn out the way we want.
So, what have I learned from all of this? In order for me to keep my sanity--at work anyway--I will continue to educate educate educate my patients about their disease process, answer their questions honestly, and encourage integrity between the layers of staff. This is something that I have always strived for at work, but now am just tuned in a little tighter, because I don't want anyone to have to go through the confusion and roller coaster of emotions that our family was placed on in the last two weeks.
AAHHH. It feels so good to vent!!