Wednesday continued

We passed the baby in his little basket around for hours, marveling at the first hand witness of God's handiwork. I was filled with pride--I know, it is the root of all sin--but it was there. It was not a pride of what we had created, but what God had created through us. Each time he was passed from one person to another I got to see the joy that he brought to each one. Even though we were all devastated by the fact that he was here way too early, there was so much joy in that room, and so much peace. Mom, Shelli, PB, Mary, Tim, and Molly were all present and sorrowfully rejoiced with us. People who mean so much to us loving us and our son.

As our baby was passed from person to person we tried to think of a name for him. We had thought we'd have 4 1/2 months to bounce names we liked around in our minds, but when our son arrived, he really didn't look like any of them, so we were back to square one. When Craig and I had a brief moment to ourselves with the baby, we became inspired by the name Job. We knew that we wanted a strong, biblical name and Job seemed perfect when we considered how faithful God has been to us during such a tough time...not just around our baby's birth, but throughout the years of yearning for a child. Other suggestions were "Zaccheus" which was never a serious contender and was only brought up because he was such a "wee little man." No, thanks. I did not want to give a child a name that I would have to sing.

That evening we had also recognized our desire to have our son baptized. Craig talked with PB and we set the time that we would gather again in the morning to dedicate our baby back to God.

When Craig and I were alone with our son we continued trying to find a name. We snuggled up on the bed, Craig with our baby, and I with my laptop (no significance there, just the way it worked out) searching the internet for the perfect name. We wanted something traditional. We had spent about 10 minutes looking before we stumbled upon Christopher. Early in the pregnancy we had discussed the name, but ruled it out quickly when we realized that it could get confusing should his name ever get shortened to Chris since that is my mom's name, which would inevitably happen. Christopher is also Craig's middle name, and, although Craig had never expressed interest in naming our child after him before, we both felt it was a good fit. Plus, he looked like a Christopher. Christopher Job...that was him.


It was strange to me how I had wanted to give our son a name and identity so soon, but yet couldn't call him my it. For 4 months he had been just "baby" and the naming process made me acknowledge that he was here...way too early. Here it is two weeks later and I am just starting to be able to say his name more comfortably without thinking just of the loss.

The name seems to sound more fitting with each passing moment. Christopher Job Riedel. My firstborn, my son, my baby. Oh how I miss him.